Where the seed of HOYH began, part II

Where the seed of HOYH began, part II

Written by Jennifer Sturgis, HOYH Co-Founder 

if it feels like home

The seed of HOYH was planted within my heart sometime between the day I first walked through the doors of the Renaissance Ranch, where my husband was in rehab for drug addiction, and the day I left that program. I remember sitting there in the mandatory family group, wondering why I had to be there, since my husband was obviously the sick one. Initially, I decided that my attendance would help him in his sobriety. But it wasn’t long before I realized that I, myself, had some deep wounds that needed healing, and that the emotional fallout of these wounds was something I needed to be accountable for, regardless of my husband’s sobriety.

As my husband was able to focus on nothing but his own recovery while in rehab, I was raising four children on my own, as well as two teenage foster girls, going back to work for the first time in 4 years, and finding my heart slowly unfreezing from the numb, dead block of ice it had been since the first few years of my marriage. I remember looking around me at these family group meetings, and seeing some of the most beautiful, impressive, well-put together women I had known. We all came from different walks of life, but we all had one thing in common. The disease of addiction had brought us to our knees, and to a point where we had to acknowledge and address our own dysfunction and codependency. The learning, honesty and vulnerability that ensued, as we all made our way down the path of healing, was exquisite and life-changing. The bonds of trust and love we forged as we looked to each other for empathy, validation and acceptance, became an integral part of my recovery. I knew, after two months, that I was not done with my journey of healing and that I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to share my struggles and my triumphs with women like these, who fought on the same battlefield that I did and could relate to my life and experiences.

Giving up my own recovery and just focusing on the never-ending list of things to do and people who needed me, would have been easier than acknowledging my own emotional responsibility and ongoing work. But of all of my fears at that time, the biggest one was that if I didn’t continue working on my own recovery, I would pass this unhealthy way of being on to my children, and that the cycle of addiction and codependency would continue.

Monica’s vision, to continue the Heartwork™ that we had started in the family program, and to offer other women the same opportunity was an answer to prayer. It just felt right. We have continued the same way we started: We lift each other when we stumble, we love and celebrate each other’s triumphs, we encourage vulnerability and healing, and we reach out to other women who are looking for the same.

In that honest, vulnerable, heart-felt journey, we have since then cultivated a brave, compassionate tribe of women supporting women. And if this feels like truth, for you – join us. You are needed, important, and valued. We welcome you in…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

If this feels like truth, share the love...