{"id":79,"date":"2016-03-14T19:43:40","date_gmt":"2016-03-14T19:43:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/?p=79"},"modified":"2018-01-26T01:21:06","modified_gmt":"2018-01-26T01:21:06","slug":"armor-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/armor-off\/","title":{"rendered":"Armor Off"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Monica Rai Silver, HOYH Founder + CEO. Excerpt taken from our Heartwork\u2122 program; Heart2Heart (H2H): \u201cThe Tree of Your Heart: A Year Living in the Branches of Self-Love.\u201d From the month of April, the branch of Vulnerability + Connection.\u00a0<\/b>Concept of “Arena” inspired by the Theodore Roosevelt poem and its\u00a0reemergence\u00a0by phenom Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/a>, and her world changing research around shame and vulnerability. If you haven’t seen Bren\u00e9’s famous TED talk, click here<\/a> for a good time. #TruthBombsAwaitYou<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Armor<\/p>\n

There is a call that comes, at different points in our lives, to come to the arena. And inherently we each know this \u2013 and so, in fear, we gather pieces of protection; carrying unnecessary armor to bind us away from loss and vulnerability, failure, disappointment and pain. I heard another call, and this time I saw it: Looking back, the pieces of heavy metal shed as I\u2019ve done the work. Felt what I needed to feel. Owned what I needed to own. But now, I\u2019m here, I\u2019ve been standing in the doorway \u2013 the bars down, wide open expanse of being seen before me; shivering in the rising dust, with no one but me calling my name: Armor off. Armor off. Armor off.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I walk in, without anything to hide\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is not the critic who counts; not the woman who points out how the strong woman stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the woman who is actually in the arena<\/u>, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends herself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if she fails, at least fails while <\/em>Daring Greatly<\/em><\/strong>, so that her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.\u201d <\/em>\u2013Theodore Roosevelt, \u201cCitizenship In A Republic\u201d speech. Pronoun edits by Monica Rai Silver.<\/p>\n

I revel in this bravery, this freedom! I soak it in; the relief, liberation and room to breathe around the truth of who I am. I laugh and spin circles in all this space, hearing the echoes bounce around the stone and then back to my happy ears: The sound of my own Voice. It sounds like a chorus of joy, like every part of me is in agreement, accord, and harmony. With my hands on my hips I survey what\u2019s around me: bare, open, beautiful.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt needs my touch,\u201d I declare, and set about making it cozy, making it Home.<\/em> I move easily, unencumbered by the heavy armor and rusted metal I worked so hard to shed. Comfortable furniture is brought in, art, music, color, a magnificent #Crownbed, nourishing food: all tools in my Heartwork\u2122 arsenal. I settle in, safe, protected, vulnerable, powerful, authentic, enough<\/em>. My worth courses through me in the air like a living shield, a boundary between my Heart and the world outside. It is beautiful, here. I am making it my Home.<\/p>\n

But even in that courage and determination, it is not long before I hear shouting from the stands, a cacophony of judgment, criticism and shame. And when I finally look out amongst the faces, the one I see most \u2013 is my own. A hundred different selves yell back at me, blaming, projecting, excuse-laden and unhappy. I feel the need to protect, to hide, to armor up. I shut down. The instant I do, I find myself in the stands, yelling back at an empty arena\u2026<\/p>\n

And I realize that I\u2019ve left myself. I\u2019ve abandoned me. <\/em>No one\u2019s done it to me, no matter the reasons my fingers are already ticking off, one by one. My muscles stiffen under the weight of the armor that automatically, like a faithful boomerang, magnetically re-attaches. With the darkness of apathy and self-pity sinking in, I sit heavily in my familiar, season-ticketed seat. The tears pool and I look around me. There are other people, here to be entertained by my imperfections, but not many. Far fewer than we (in the stands) want to believe. There are many more versions of myself, in various stages, ages, in their own pain and comfort zones. But more shockingly, are the weapons that wait in every single seat around my Arena. Weapons\u2026to be picked up and used by whoever sits there.<\/p>\n

I understand. I see. The gift shows itself and I am aware of where I am. I am aware that I have a choice. I am aware that I choose where I reside. So, I choose to remember Janette Grace\u2019s stunning statement, \u201cSurrender is putting down my weapons and picking up my tools.\u201d<\/strong> Only weapons await me in the stands: judgment, criticism, hatred, projection, blame, victimhood, perfectionism, and codependency. But my tools await me in the Arena: Heartwork\u2122, Connection, Vulnerability, Higher Power, Self-Love, Compassion, Rooting, Gardening, and so many more. These are my Super Powers. These, are my Heart. These, are Home.<\/em><\/p>\n

My choice made, I heave myself up from the seat and lumber toward the aisle. I walk down the dirt pathway, one step at a time, remembering that the Path from the stands to the arena is the \u201cpath to the feeling of worthiness.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0 -Bren\u00e9 Brown. To accepting the truth <\/em>of my worthiness.<\/em> To feeling<\/strong> my worthiness.<\/p>\n

With each step I feel the emotions of the stands and<\/em> the Arena, and I understand that I will make many trips back and forth as I journey through this life. I can accept this, knowing that the gift is in recognizing where I am, and choosing where to go from there. Knowing, I am enough. Knowing, it is my choice.<\/p>\n

With one final, exhausting stride \u2013 I step back into the Arena. The armor is gone, and the subsequent fear of being vulnerable takes its place. But I breathe through it, settling my gaze on the safe space before me: Home.<\/em> This time, when I hear the jeers from the crowd, I will choose to stay here. I will first root in myself before I look up. I\u2019ll acknowledge the message if it contains wounds that need healing. I\u2019ll feel through the feelings it brings up. I\u2019ll give gratitude for the lessons they contain. And I\u2019ll do it all from the safety, empowerment and protection, real protection of\u00a0the Arena. The Arena of my Heart.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cVulnerability is the only authentic state. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Being vulnerable means being open for wounding, but also for pleasure. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

can only come to you when you are vulnerable and open.\u201d <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013Stephen Russell<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Monica Rai Silver, HOYH Founder + CEO. Excerpt taken from our Heartwork\u2122 program; Heart2Heart (H2H): \u201cThe Tree of Your Heart: A Year Living in the Branches of Self-Love.\u201d From the month of April, the branch of Vulnerability + Connection.\u00a0Concept of “Arena” inspired by the Theodore Roosevelt poem and its\u00a0reemergence\u00a0by phenom Bren\u00e9 Brown, and … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":80,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,12,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultivating-the-house-of-my-heart","category-feel-it-to-heal-it","category-heart2heart"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Armor-Off-Blog-Pic.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":160,"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions\/160"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/houseofyourheart.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}