Life Hacks In Your Early Thirties

By: Brittany Johansen

I’m all up in my thirties, ladies. By now you can imagine shit has gotten real. Let me take you back for a minute to the year 2009. College in the rear view, but still clear as day. Starting a new job, an adult job where they give you days off and everything. Score! The love of my life, Matt, thousands of miles away finishing up college because I’m a #cougar. Or as he would call me, a puma – cougar in training. Apparently, I was too young to be considered a true cougar. That summer as my birthday approached, it started to sink in just how much life was changing. What was going to be required of me to be a productive member of society. [Insert giant quarter life crisis freak out]. I remember calling Matt in a panic about how I was almost 25 and “what am I doing with my life?” and “I need to figure it all out before it’s too late”. His response, “I think you’re turning 24.” [Insert giant sigh of relief]. I’ll panic next year.

Flash forward to my thirties and, luckily, I haven’t encountered that ugly quarter life crisis again. Twenty-four was good to me as was twenty-five and the many years after. Sure, crap happened and not everything was buttered popcorn and adoption day at Petco, but I made it work. If you’re wondering what comes after that quarter life crisis, here are some things that I recommend for #adultingsohard in your thirties:

• GET PLANTS. Those who know me and are reading this are thinking, “She’s killed every plant she’s ever had.” While that may historically be true, I’m getting much better and they still are a major quality of life improvement (for however long you keep them alive). They better the air around you and cozy up any space. They give you a sense of responsibility and purpose. Like, you have to water them and make sure they get enough sun, or they don’t SURVIVE. Plus, they’ve got a, “She’s really got her shit together” vibe. I started to feel like a mega adult when I got plants. Friends in their thirties notice things like this too. Makes for good small talk. #Bonus

• FRET LESS. ENGAGE MORE. This one is super important. Starting my career in my twenties, I was focused on the hustle. “I am only worthy if I’m productive” or something like that. “I am the sum of what I accomplish” or something like that. As meaningful as it is to work your ass off (and trust me, I’m not encouraging you not to do that), the stress that overworking and overthinking can cause isn’t worth it. Turns out what matters most in life are the lives around you, the earth beneath you, and the energy you pass around on the daily. Engage more in these things. The finer things. The real Michelin stars of life and Pulitzers of your existence. If you fret less and engage more with what matters, you will find yourself. And with a lot of other work in that department, you might even love yourself! [shameless plug – took this not once, but twice!]

• HAVE BABIES. FUR OR OTHERWISE. If you haven’t already, I’d highly recommend fur babies. Me and my handsomely bearded husband have two of our own! However, this bullet should come with an asterisk. Whether you are a cat person, dog person, pigmy pig or horse of a champion breed person – having a pet means you have true love in your life. Again, similar to plants, but arguably slightly more important, is your vitality to their life. They DEMAND your presence, your care, your responsibility, your attention, and your love. Presently, I’m also growing a human baby – the Great Dane babies are going to be so jealous! He or she has been baking for about 17 weeks. Having a human baby is big because not all who want them can have them. It’s big because it doesn’t always work out like you thought. Sometimes you lose human babies before you have them, sometimes you lose them after you’ve welcomed them to the world. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll spend the rest of your life figuring out how to parent them, befriend them, love them and set them free. You’ll need to grow up quickly if human babies are involved. *Not all people are ready for this step. Maybe you’re a free-spirited woman who is driven by ambition, still doing the damn thing and can’t be attending to needy babes. You might be in this phase if you frequently catch yourself at the office past 10:00pm burning the midnight oil. #BossBabe. You might also be in this phase if you sometimes don’t make it home at night and are unclear of the events leading up to waking up in a strange location. Also, if you have allergies. If you are allergic to pets and babies you should probably avoid having them. #FreeUnsolicitedAdvice

Before you start judging, no I don’t think this list is exhaustive or all inclusive. Not even close. I haven’t even gotten into finding love, being yourself, and doing things that terrify you. Maybe this blog will end up being a series! For now, my hands are done typing and my eyes are going cross eyed. If you get anything from what I’m saying, I hope it’s to focus on the little things. Notice I didn’t say try to look like women you see in magazines and make more money than you know what to do with. The biggest life hack I can offer you is to find connection – with yourself, with others, and with the earth. That, and maybe skip the quarter life crisis 😉

Warmly,
Brittany

The “booty” in #BootyAndTheBeard

Brittany can also be found practicing the art of imperfection here.